What don't you understand about "HIGH ARCTIC"!!

The Culprit

My replacement Virgin Mobile phone arrived today, after my previous phone was recalled. In the box came an envelope with a bill of lading for Purolator, meant for me to return my old LG phone.

After spending an hour on hold, I finally talked to one of the Virgin Mobile employees, who obviously are instructed to follow along with the company's "cool" or "hip" branding, and answer the phone like this "Heyyyy, thanks for holding! What's uppp?" Shoot me now...

At any rate, the conversation unfolded as follows:

Me: Hi, I have received my replacement phone and see that I'm supposed to return my old phone via Purolator. The area where I live is not served by Purolator, how would you like me to return the phone?

Annoying Employee: Sure, you just put it in the envelope and call up Purolator, and they'll come and get it.

Me: I live in the high arctic, I don't think they'll come and get it.

AE: Please hold...

*holds again*

AE: Hello, thanks for holdingggg! I have just talked to my supervisor, and he says to take it to the nearest Staples Business Depot, and they'll look after it for you.

Me: We don't have a Staples in the HIGH ARCTIC. We have Canada Post, is there an option for that?

AE: Please hold...

*holds once again...*

AE: Hello, thanks for holdingggg! I have exhausted all of my options. You will have to call Purolator and arrange for a pick up.

Me: Okay, thank you. I guess you won't be getting your phone back.

AE: No, you have to call Purolator at 1-888-blah blah blah blah blah....

Me: Okay, goodbye.

AE: Can you repeat that number for me please?

Me: No thanks, I got it... Bye.

*click*